New Year Resolutions

I'm a little late with mine...have been thinking about it seriously and did not want to make an impossible one, like giving up my wine or cussing, which would only be broken and history by February 1st. I have finally come up with one though, and that is to be easier on myself. In every way. To cut myself some slack.

It may sound lame, but in my quest for physical perfection over the years (and God how much energy was wasted on this???) I've neglected other things. The media, and I know its the media, and I know about air brushing...the media is to blame, but that doesn't mean my brain is going to be able to ignore all the glossy pix and gorgeous bodies in the magazines. One year I even stopped reading them all, but that didn't last. I am a complete addict of what the media and Bollywood decided is beauty! I just was never happy...there was always that allusive 5 pounds, or an area around my mid-section that could be just a little firmer. Now I've added freaking crows feet and other defects to the mix! Where does it end? What does it matter?? A friend once said to me she's weighed a 20 lb. variance of her ideal weight her whole adult life. So at some point given the 20 pound range on a 5'4" body, she should have been at her ideal weight right? Well, she says she was never satisfied. And we laughed about this....but is it really funny?

I'm getting side tracked. Getting fit for health is a great idea. This you do for you. Being obsessive and looking in the mirror and seeing a distorted, less worthy reflection, well that's not healthy. A friends pre-teen daughter once said to me, after listening to me talk about yet another diet, that I'd be anorexic if I had any willpower. That's pretty funny! Thank God I didn't have the willpower. So its good to be health conscious, its good to care about ones' appearance, and its good to look as good as you can for as long as you can. But you decided whats' good, not the media.

I was reading parts of a Vanity Fair interview of Demi Moore yesterday...she was quoted as saying she's had distorted body image all her life...and now she's gauntly thin. I'm far from that, but I still want to be kinder to myself, more forgiving... and have you noticed how men are so different than us in this regard? They look in the mirror and see Tom Cruise. We look in the mirror and faults!! S'up with that?