A Little Thing Called the Telephone...

I'd forgotten how a phone call can be so much like a face to face when the  party on the other end of the call is a real friend.   I've become reluctant to talk on the phone over the years, preferring email, or texting, or Facebook...the modern tools of communication.  But there's nothing like hearing a friend's voice.   This past month I've had two long, fabulous telephone calls with two very, very good friends and I felt like we were actually together, in the same room, during the calls.  One call was 2.5 (!!) hours and the other almost as long.  Both were a "let's have a glass of wine together" and talk idea.  They were exhilarating.  And we've committed to making this a part of our lives going forward.

Its  true, you have to carve  out the  time for the phone; unlike a quick mass email  or Facebook posting which lets everyone in your "world" know whats up.  But what nicer way to spend a late afternoon or evening than with a friend who is miles away, talking  about everything together, laughing, realizing  you are still on the same page?  That years and geography have done nothing to separate you, that you still finish each others' sentences, laugh before the punchline, and "get" each other even while  talking at the same time.  There are no  uncomfortable gaps in the  conversation; no trivial BS as one searches for something to  say (I've had that kind of phone conversation as well...) but two friends picking up where they left off.

And that's the test of true friendship, isn't it?  The ability to pick up where you left off and be right back as if no time had passed.  I'm very fortunate in that I've several friends I'd "lost" for 20-30  years and found thru social networks that were just like that:  instant, back on track, together.  Karen, one of the first friends I found on Facebook after years of trying to locate her, and I spent an entire Sunday evening going back and forth messaging on FB while our men watched an entire football game.  Neither one of us thought to pick up the phone!!  Diane, one of my oldest friends, whom I tracked down (also on FB thru her daughter)...she drove to Boston from  southern NH, came to my house (now we haven't seen each other in 30 years!!) and we spent the next 6 hours sitting at my kitchen table talking....time had done absolutely nothing to erode the bond we formed all those years ago.

Sadly, I've had other so called friendships  not survive  the test  of  time and separation.  I've  had that one phone call where there is no connection, where there are gaps and awkward silences, and the whole thing is strained and false.  Just doesn't ring true.  Usually that's because the friendship is not true, its  fake, based on some phony idea  of  friendship.  I'm not  real sad about that; too many real loving friends to mourn something that was never real to begin with; or never  built  on solid ground. But that  phone call was awful.  I even hate answering the phone when and if I see that number (which I never do any more as we've both realized there is nothing to say).

All this to say, this Monday morning, that I've rediscovered the magic and possibility of a phone call, of sitting down and chatting as if you are in the  room with me...not really something other electronic means  provide.  Though don't get me wrong:  I'm a lifetime fan/believer of social networks and email and texting!!  But for those who are no longer geographically close to you...grab that glass of wine, dial the number....and have a nice timeout together.  It was really magical.  Seriously, 2.5 hours felt like 20 minutes!!!